Traveling, Writing and Drinking

 

I had a wonderful birthday in San Francisco with my Z! We spent the morning lounging at the spa and the afternoon hiking the hills of San Fran. Mostly, I cussed and declared I was not going to die. She replied, "Gun it... like that car over there." I could hear the transmission strain as the little car thought it could.

I'm working on the third novel in my Zhara series. Today, I could care less. Another 24,000 words to go and ten days to get them written. (November is National Novel Writing Month)

My Z! found a new beer - Sessions, which was light, crisp and refreshing. I bought Larceny Kentucky Bourbon and received Buffalo Trace as a gift. And...we visited the San Francisco Chocolate Factory. Samples galore! I bought 55% dark chocolate coins and Raspberry Dark Chocolate Truffles. Yum!

See, I've been doing it all, except posting here.

I am thankful to have the time and energy to tend my grand-daughters full time. Freedom from a 40 hour work week allows me the opportunity to explore more of life and enjoy the simple pleasures of playing with children - writing, cooking, cleaning, chasing, dressing, sorting and lots of running.

Next update, finances... How do I keep making this work?

Hot toddies to you!

Aspiring to Be

Eight months ago, today, I quit my job.

My general intention was to travel, write and drink beer. For the most part, that's what I have been doing. A gentle recap: I left my job, traveled to San Francisco to visit my Z, drank beer and finished writing my novel in November 2011. On November 27th, I received a call from my family of origin that I had to come see about them. After much crying, fussing, cussing, and praying, I began a journey that would take me through my mother's terminal illness and death, my father's failing health and repeated hospitalizations, and the clearing of a hoarder's treasures.

In the past eight months, I have processed more dysfunction than I had in all my years of therapy. Thankfully, I have a lot of tools to shovel the shit that was piled on. I could never have imagined the level of hurt waiting to be uncovered. I had no idea the history into which I was born. And all that crap that was said and done to me, well, it's in the past. That's how I kept traveling north. I kept remembering that I have already survived what I have been through and I am just fine. (I'll address my crazy elsewhere.)

So, here I am today, celebrating my eighth month at home. I did take a part-time situation for the month of May. That gave me a boost - financially and socially. I have picked up five or six hours a week clearing clutter. That helps as well. Financially, I have learned to live even closer to necessities. Staying under the budget I designed before I left work and the few dollars coming in have brought me two extra months.

I have applied for several jobs. I wait expectantly for my acceptance letter to the last position for which I interviewed. Each day I am thankful for this time I have had at home. I know returning to work full time will be a challenge. I am excited about that as well. My goal for this blog was to learn to live my life more freely and clearly. What I find is that I love being at home, tucked away behind the trees, reading, writing, and drinking beer.

Done digging in the past, I now consider how I want to show up in the present. Here is the greater work, to be the person we long to be. This will also bring our greatest challenges.

My journey has opened my heart/mind to the work of an instrument of peace.

Interesting Situations

By now you know the opening line. "I quit my job. " I chose that statement because while I was employed I searched for information on living well outside of the status quo, and specifically, details and stories from people over forty. That young people quit, change, leave, or abandon jobs has little interest to me. This isn't to say they don't have great stories, ideas, tips or adventures. However, they are also generally free of children, mortgages, retirement plans/obligations, and the varied and many encumbrances that accumulate with age.

Honestly, to quit one's job, repeatedly, no matter the "financial climate," takes its own mindset. That's me. I've been leaving jobs since I accepted the first one. That will make me and my story different from those who have committed to a company for over five years. Still, I am over fifty and I choose to leave the last situation because I had had enough.

Today's note is about job search some more. I am just off the phone with an inquiry from a prospective employer. They called to make sure I was applying for a staff position rather than the supervisory slot. It seems I was recommended by the director of the agency for the supervisor position. Small world. We worked together many years ago. We were best friends (to me) and she helped paint my house, tend my children, and make my work my love.

The supervisor is on call 24/7 and expected to be in the office 8 am - 5 pm. Yes, there is vacation since it is a benefited position, but squeezing it in is a challenge. Oh, and "if you really need to be off we can find someone to cover for a doctor's appointment, etc." As the description went on, I knew there was no way I was getting roped into that situation. I know people who live for their jobs. I am not one of them and I am not impressed. I am happy to do what I love, but I love lots of situations and prefer balance in my life. I passed and asked to be considered for the staff role.

Life is good. I apply for two or three jobs most days of the week. I complete applications, assessments, questionnaires, and inventories. Not only do I learn about the companies, I learn about me. I am unavailable for long hours. I do believe employers ask too much of their employees. I think I work harder than most of my coworkers. I show up a little early for appointments. I expect to take my breaks and lunch. Can I sell people stuff they don't need? Sure! Will I? Probably not. Working on commission might leave me hungry.

I make notes from those survey tools. One has to wonder how those responses are weighted. I've been thinking about desired outcomes. I still enjoy being at home. Everyday I roll over and easily rise from sleep at whatever time, I am blessed again. There is so much more to my story and how I find a great ease in this life.

"I have a house, a car and my student loans are paid off. I should be able to sleep." (From Everybody Loves Raymond) I have plenty of food. I am healthy. I even still have a couple fingers of my favorite liquors. It rained. Tomorrow I will set out more plants and pray for a bountiful harvest.

I am open an employment situation that is mutually beneficial to all concerned. Let us affirm together:
So say we all!
So say we all!

Redesigning

Having quit my job, my days and my life are wide open. I have the freedom to spend my time as I choose and accomplish what I will. I realized this morning how very artificial my world has been for these last three and a half years. I have spent my days sleeping or trying to sleep, my evenings pushing through what tasks I could and then getting ready to go back to work. Over and over, again. I took days off occasionally just to complete projects or take a break for decent sleep.

I must confess that I love to shop. I am much better since I started looking at living with less and because my measure of an item's worth was against my having to keep working. Those things however did not relieve me of the desire to shop. I keep very detailed list of what I desire. I apply in-depth scientific research into the product with rigid cost analysis. Then I wait, and look around, and think. Thankfully I have a good handle on delayed gratification and can wait out the strongest impulse. If the item is gone when I get back, so be it. Yes, there is some sadness that I didn't act, but I have a list. Something else will attract my attention.

We are preparing for the holiday season and I am not sure how I will show up. I have never been big on getting or giving gifts (something that was worked out of me as a child). But as I said, I love to shop and what better reason than to give to others. Since I am living without an income, I am rethinking everything around how I spend money and so, how I will be giving gifts this season. My daughter joked that I gift socks and lip balm. Very true, but the very nicest of both.

Today while shopping I kept in mine that I am spending my inheritance/my investment, and until cash falls from the money tree my patterns of delay will serve me well when it comes to spending. The dish I am carrying to both Thanksgiving dinners cost very little to prepare meaning I can spend the remaining budget on alcoholic refreshments.

Happy holidays to each of you. Enjoy every moment.