Priorities

This is my sweetie, meddling. JP turned one year old and is busier than ever. So, am I. The girls stay with me five days a week and while I had considered returning to work, I have no time. At this point, working outside my home looks like picking up overnight shifts and sleeping five hours before receiving the baby.

While I know people do this, it is not the best plan for having free available attention on a regular basis. No, there is not time for a nap as after school pick up is at 2:40 pm. Then snacks, play, review of day, dinner, baths, relax, and bedtime. The girls stay overnight twice a week as well.

We are back up at 6:45 am to prepare for school drop off for the kindergartner and wreaking havoc for the baby. In a world of free exploration, there are no playpens. Or, without playpens baby wreaks havoc. Either way, I live in a daycare. I provide a happy, healthy, safe environment for my grand-daughters to grow and explore the world.

With this goal in mind, I realize it is time to reshape my budget to adjust to the income I presently earn, rather than the one I had planned to bring home.

By commitment, I give 10% first. In the past I was saving 10%, then paying bills with the rest. As I barely earn what covers my expenses, I have saved less. Thankfully, my savings will serve as a safety net should the need arise (to pay bills). I have run up a bit of debt compensating for my lack of income, but am paying it off consistently.

This blog is dedicated to my process of enjoying my life outside of being a wage slave. So, I've been managing on two days work a week, some part-time contract office work, and online earnings. I cashed in my i-Say points for $10 gift card and am working toward my next $25 PayPal gift card with Swag bucks. When I need something I search Amazon first because I keep a credit there (through Swag bucks) and use Swag bucks to place orders (shop and earn) then PayPal to pay for them, unless I have a gift card for the store. Finally, I have a gold bracelet I am going to sell this week. I rarely wore it. The saddest part of selling jewelry is that I cannot get back what the giver paid for it.

In what spare time there is, I drink beer and crochet on cool evening. In the picture up top, JP is wearing her new slippers. Generally, I write in my head. By the time I get back to paper or computer I have forgotten what I thought. Life is busy, hectic even. My time is filled with love and laughter, cookies and tea, and little girls who love ribbons and bows or sticks and mud.

Nap time ends in a minute...

Make today a great day!!!

Namaste

Aspiring to Be

Eight months ago, today, I quit my job.

My general intention was to travel, write and drink beer. For the most part, that's what I have been doing. A gentle recap: I left my job, traveled to San Francisco to visit my Z, drank beer and finished writing my novel in November 2011. On November 27th, I received a call from my family of origin that I had to come see about them. After much crying, fussing, cussing, and praying, I began a journey that would take me through my mother's terminal illness and death, my father's failing health and repeated hospitalizations, and the clearing of a hoarder's treasures.

In the past eight months, I have processed more dysfunction than I had in all my years of therapy. Thankfully, I have a lot of tools to shovel the shit that was piled on. I could never have imagined the level of hurt waiting to be uncovered. I had no idea the history into which I was born. And all that crap that was said and done to me, well, it's in the past. That's how I kept traveling north. I kept remembering that I have already survived what I have been through and I am just fine. (I'll address my crazy elsewhere.)

So, here I am today, celebrating my eighth month at home. I did take a part-time situation for the month of May. That gave me a boost - financially and socially. I have picked up five or six hours a week clearing clutter. That helps as well. Financially, I have learned to live even closer to necessities. Staying under the budget I designed before I left work and the few dollars coming in have brought me two extra months.

I have applied for several jobs. I wait expectantly for my acceptance letter to the last position for which I interviewed. Each day I am thankful for this time I have had at home. I know returning to work full time will be a challenge. I am excited about that as well. My goal for this blog was to learn to live my life more freely and clearly. What I find is that I love being at home, tucked away behind the trees, reading, writing, and drinking beer.

Done digging in the past, I now consider how I want to show up in the present. Here is the greater work, to be the person we long to be. This will also bring our greatest challenges.

My journey has opened my heart/mind to the work of an instrument of peace.