Job Opening and Interview

See me here - Garden of the Gods

DA and I went out in the pouring rain shopping for a few "necessities." When I returned to sort the mail it included a letter for a job I had applied for months ago. I have seven days to reply - either schedule or mail back the reply with a reason for decline. I looked at the salary. More than I earned before, but no impressively so, in that I would not have stayed where I was for that rate.

I tossed it aside. I have seven days after all. Then this morning, as I lay in bed three hours past my alarm, I thought, "I could maybe work a day job. It is nice money." DA climbed into bed with a book for us to read. "On the other hand, I wouldn't be available to babysit when the day care is closed or DA is sick." We crawled out of the warmth of the covers, showered and had brunch.

As I stood washing dishes, I thought about going to work again. I had written my daughter with no response. She is living the dream - working in a spa and getting massage as part of her job. She loves what she does and is willing to pick up an extra shift. The last time I worked like that I was working for myself - part time gigs. Someone asked me why  I couldn't just hang in there.This is why?

My job duties were not difficult or challenging. I am almost ready to say a monkey blindfolded could do it. Almost, but not exactly true. But that was how I felt I was treated and eventually that entire lack of respect and regard became too much. Do I want to go to a job where I spend my shift thinking about leaving (for the day or quitting, or even focused on retirement)? Am I willing to be mistreated, by anyone? Am I invested in my worth, my dreams? Do I really believe that I can live well and prosper as I reach for my hearts desire?

Scrubbing the dirt off Kai Lan's bubble machine, I realized this is the Universe checking in with me. Every day we get reminders of our deepest desires. As we learn to heed them we will become more in tune to what is going well. Opening to daily grace strengthens us to overcome obstacles.

Unless you believe, you will not understand. ~ Saint Augustine

 As you prepare to make a change in your life, notice all the ways you are supported. Accept the belief that all Providence is invested in your joy and well-being.

I've been here - Sedona, AZ

Giving Thanks Daily

I am thankful for the option to tend my granddaughter over night and then to travel this morning to visit friends. Since I am free of the obligation to show up at work, I have the time and energy to chase a four year old long into the night. We danced, played music, enjoyed tea, and each others company. Her new favorite word when she has exhausted her commentary is, "Poop!" Not like and adult might say it, but delightfully as in accomplishment - poop and pee. Daily functions that take place to keep us healthy.

Through my body I see the Creator

This started as a different note, but let's hang here for a moment. It is a blessing when our system work as designed. We forget to be thankful for those very great things. We need only remember the last time our body systems stayed open and did not close or remained closed when they were to open. If we are breathing on our own, be thankful. If we are out of bed and taking nourishment on our own, be thankful. If we have the privilege to read, write, think, argue, discuss, hug, smile, kiss, blink, then be thankful. For all over the world there are those who have lost that ability.

When we have our health, we have everything. Be thankful.

Have a blessed holiday, everyday.

Redesigning

Having quit my job, my days and my life are wide open. I have the freedom to spend my time as I choose and accomplish what I will. I realized this morning how very artificial my world has been for these last three and a half years. I have spent my days sleeping or trying to sleep, my evenings pushing through what tasks I could and then getting ready to go back to work. Over and over, again. I took days off occasionally just to complete projects or take a break for decent sleep.

I must confess that I love to shop. I am much better since I started looking at living with less and because my measure of an item's worth was against my having to keep working. Those things however did not relieve me of the desire to shop. I keep very detailed list of what I desire. I apply in-depth scientific research into the product with rigid cost analysis. Then I wait, and look around, and think. Thankfully I have a good handle on delayed gratification and can wait out the strongest impulse. If the item is gone when I get back, so be it. Yes, there is some sadness that I didn't act, but I have a list. Something else will attract my attention.

We are preparing for the holiday season and I am not sure how I will show up. I have never been big on getting or giving gifts (something that was worked out of me as a child). But as I said, I love to shop and what better reason than to give to others. Since I am living without an income, I am rethinking everything around how I spend money and so, how I will be giving gifts this season. My daughter joked that I gift socks and lip balm. Very true, but the very nicest of both.

Today while shopping I kept in mine that I am spending my inheritance/my investment, and until cash falls from the money tree my patterns of delay will serve me well when it comes to spending. The dish I am carrying to both Thanksgiving dinners cost very little to prepare meaning I can spend the remaining budget on alcoholic refreshments.

Happy holidays to each of you. Enjoy every moment.

New Beginnings

It's happening Now!

In December 2010 I decided that instead of making New Year’s resolutions, I would make promises to myself and the basis of each promise would be toward being happier, healthier and far more interesting. That would eliminate the woulds, coulds, shoulds, and oughts and leave me with ideas, activities, goals and choices that actually fulfilled what I believe to be my mission in life. 

Who knew I would be here today? I had planned to leave my job for varied reasons, but had set the date past the holidays for financial ones. The longer I stayed employed the more earned time off and holiday pay I would receive. The moment came when I realized that I was effectively scarifying my peace of mind for a few dollars. So I moved the date closer. As the number of unpleasant events occurred in repetition I realized I would be leaving even sooner than my ideal. The date crept so close I needed an immediate plan and began a 100 day countdown. 

I have reached zero and moved beyond. Here I am at the end of another year with myriad events to reflect upon. Having already freaked out it’s time to live in the shift. Returning home today I thought, “I am going to OCCUPY MY HOME!” It was a loud thought. My home is more than just the place I come and go from. My life is more than serving for the profit of others. This time outside of public work gives me the freedom to serve my neighborhood and community. To bridge the gaps that keep us separated as human beings, especially as I was working nights and spending all the rest of my time struggling around sleep. Oh yes, there is cleaning and repairs and writing, of course. But as winter shuts us inside easily, I will purposely step outside my door and look the world in its cold blustery eye recognizing that I have the freedom to stand tall and breathe clearly.

This is not bucket list or last wishes. We are not promised tomorrow or even five minutes from now. Live like you are dying. Step up and into the moment.

What are you waiting for?