Traveling, Writing and Drinking

 

I had a wonderful birthday in San Francisco with my Z! We spent the morning lounging at the spa and the afternoon hiking the hills of San Fran. Mostly, I cussed and declared I was not going to die. She replied, "Gun it... like that car over there." I could hear the transmission strain as the little car thought it could.

I'm working on the third novel in my Zhara series. Today, I could care less. Another 24,000 words to go and ten days to get them written. (November is National Novel Writing Month)

My Z! found a new beer - Sessions, which was light, crisp and refreshing. I bought Larceny Kentucky Bourbon and received Buffalo Trace as a gift. And...we visited the San Francisco Chocolate Factory. Samples galore! I bought 55% dark chocolate coins and Raspberry Dark Chocolate Truffles. Yum!

See, I've been doing it all, except posting here.

I am thankful to have the time and energy to tend my grand-daughters full time. Freedom from a 40 hour work week allows me the opportunity to explore more of life and enjoy the simple pleasures of playing with children - writing, cooking, cleaning, chasing, dressing, sorting and lots of running.

Next update, finances... How do I keep making this work?

Hot toddies to you!

Happy Harvest

I am thankful for the abundance of time, health and well-being to live freely and joyfully. This means sharing playtime with the baby and field trips with the Kindergartener. This week we returned to the pumpkin patch.

Rabbits, goats, chicken, huge catfish, ducks, and more pumpkins that you can see or count, filled up the two and a half hour adventure. For just $4, for adults with the school group, we watched children run free and squeal with delight. The nicest part was taking a break from media, news, and current event issues. Sometimes it is easy to imagine a quieter, easier life.

Today we are still in the high 80s, which is great for the tomatoes, but far from fall temperatures. Feels like August, per the news man. My gardening plan for this year leaves a lot to be desired, however, there are still blossoms for the peppers and an actual squash on the vine - one. I grow some expensive produce.

For the few days we had cool temps, I enjoyed crocheting and am learning new stitches.

There are only so many hats and slippers that anybody needs. Same with wrist warmers. I've decided that I will crochet to donate. Crocheting is good for my heart and mind. Yarn and beer, the cool breeze "of an evening," and a good movie. Relaxation.

Then there is the massive clutter I am still facing. That's another post, but as a preview - Make Space.

Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray. 

Rumi

Priorities

This is my sweetie, meddling. JP turned one year old and is busier than ever. So, am I. The girls stay with me five days a week and while I had considered returning to work, I have no time. At this point, working outside my home looks like picking up overnight shifts and sleeping five hours before receiving the baby.

While I know people do this, it is not the best plan for having free available attention on a regular basis. No, there is not time for a nap as after school pick up is at 2:40 pm. Then snacks, play, review of day, dinner, baths, relax, and bedtime. The girls stay overnight twice a week as well.

We are back up at 6:45 am to prepare for school drop off for the kindergartner and wreaking havoc for the baby. In a world of free exploration, there are no playpens. Or, without playpens baby wreaks havoc. Either way, I live in a daycare. I provide a happy, healthy, safe environment for my grand-daughters to grow and explore the world.

With this goal in mind, I realize it is time to reshape my budget to adjust to the income I presently earn, rather than the one I had planned to bring home.

By commitment, I give 10% first. In the past I was saving 10%, then paying bills with the rest. As I barely earn what covers my expenses, I have saved less. Thankfully, my savings will serve as a safety net should the need arise (to pay bills). I have run up a bit of debt compensating for my lack of income, but am paying it off consistently.

This blog is dedicated to my process of enjoying my life outside of being a wage slave. So, I've been managing on two days work a week, some part-time contract office work, and online earnings. I cashed in my i-Say points for $10 gift card and am working toward my next $25 PayPal gift card with Swag bucks. When I need something I search Amazon first because I keep a credit there (through Swag bucks) and use Swag bucks to place orders (shop and earn) then PayPal to pay for them, unless I have a gift card for the store. Finally, I have a gold bracelet I am going to sell this week. I rarely wore it. The saddest part of selling jewelry is that I cannot get back what the giver paid for it.

In what spare time there is, I drink beer and crochet on cool evening. In the picture up top, JP is wearing her new slippers. Generally, I write in my head. By the time I get back to paper or computer I have forgotten what I thought. Life is busy, hectic even. My time is filled with love and laughter, cookies and tea, and little girls who love ribbons and bows or sticks and mud.

Nap time ends in a minute...

Make today a great day!!!

Namaste

Swagbucks Pays!

If you haven't checked out Swagbucks, let me offer a little more incentive.

Here's how it works:

Use Swagbucks to search and win Swag bucks.
Watch video clips and earn Swag bucks.
Shop and earn swag bucks.
Complete surveys and activities and get even more swag bucks,

Which you can turn into gifts, gift cards, or cash!

There's mine.

Today I placed an order and earned four bucks per dollar, then I paid for my order with PayPal. I'm recycling free money.

I also ordered two pounds of flax seeds for $7.58 from Amazon, paid for with an Amazon gift card purchased with Swag bucks.

450 Swag bucks = $5 Amazon credit

Want to know more?

Check out Swag bucks for yourself.

Already using Swag bucks? Share your story below.

Thanks. Saving money is the best thing going.

It might come in handy some day.

Even after two years of de-cluttering, I still have this mantra and I still believe it true. Some things are worth keeping because the price to replace them is exorbitant. For some items, I have a plan.

When my grand-daughter begins school this year I am sending all the supplies I have saved over the years with her. Some will work for her class and the others I will donate to the school.

However, we have had a flea problem this year. I think Max has more fleas as an inside dog than he ever had living outside. After trying over a dozen remedies, I remembered I had diatomaceous earth. Searching through my deck box, I found it where I imagined.

Check out that price. $0.83 for the bag. Where will I get another deal like that? DE is safe for use all around the house and on pets. Messier than I remembered, but the fleas must die!

Then, driving down the road I saw cast iron skillets tossed on the sidewalk. First I drove past, but at the corner, I thought, "Those might come in handy some day." Zooming in reverse, I backed up to the sidewalk. There must have been some fight because three skillets lay on the walk, two of them damaged - actually broken. I took the third. It fits perfectly in my counter top convection oven.

Washed and seasoned, it has performed wonderfully. Because cast iron maintains its heat, I can reduce cooking times.

Under the desk, I have boxes of stationary from previous jobs that would have gone to recycling. It comes in handy for a little girl to draw and "write letters," paint, or cut.

Before I had grandchildren, I gave away most of my children's books. As happy as I was to gift them to another family, I am just as dismayed that we don't have them. We have more and have been blessed with entire sets from other families - but you know that special thing that cannot be replaced, that's the spot.

I weigh letting go with my life's mission and goals. Things that don't fit, move on. If there's a place, it waits. I look forward to sharing the blessing of plenty. I have got a lot...

Namaste

They want me back!

I've been away sorting out life for a while. In the busiest of times, I worked for pay 44-46 hours a week, then cared for my grand-daughters for 40 plus hours. Sleep became premium.

The job I thought was mine turned out to be temporary, a fact they neglected to share at hiring, so I find I have plenty of time to rest and sleep, and garden, clean, organize, read, and blog (if I get around to it).

On the other hand, my financial situation has shifted, again. As you know by now, I much prefer enjoying my life at home. To do so, I work diligently to reduce and contain expenses. However, I have a minimalist attitude and a hoarder's desire. How to find balance...

Get a bit more cash in.

I tried selling my best and favorite linen pants on Craigslist and new with tags suits on ebay. No luck.  Finally, I donated them just for the freedom. But, before I separated from my job I found these wonderful boots for an unbelievable price -

I love them!!! They are Crocs and will last for years. They look great and I can walk to to and from work easily. Just wait until I travel back to San Fran - cute, functional, and light weight. So I sold these. I priced them way below their values and received two emails immediately. Sold that evening.

Money or not, I needed a few things I consider necessary for my lifestyle. The more you shop (online) the more emails you receive for the next great deal. The longer you delay purchases, the better the deals get. They want you back. They want me back!!!

Me, the grrl who barely works and needs every cent she has to pay the bills, like housing and utilities. They do not care about those expenses. They want me to look trendy, take the latest touted supplements, and own stylist electronics. I almost want to look, almost...but, I have a plan.

My prevailing mantra helps me delay spending:

"That's not in my budget."

It maintains my desire to acquire, yet reminds me that I have priorities.

Besides, my closet is still full of clothes available for sale. There are several other sites to consider including Amazon and Thredup.com. Better to secure financing before the purchase than to become a debt slave.

On to a far more interesting journey...

It's a New Day!

As you know, November 11, 2011 I quit my job.

I had a plan. Travel. Drink beer. Write.

I was off to a good start, but was waylaid. We'll call that done around Juneteenth 2012. By that time, I needed money - a job, so I would be Just Over Broke.

I lallygagged through a miserably hot summer, fermented everything I could find and played with my grand-daughter. I struggled through months of job search. I worked part-time.

No matter what distress I might conjure to share, the truth is I am living well. I have enough. I do enough. I am enough. There is money in the bank to pay the bills that roll in. I have a small savings. My health is okay. It could be better. I limit my complaining.

Here is the post I promised somewhere in the previous three hundred - how I manage on little of nothing, but time. My whole blog - addresses this question, but this post is about money, and surveys in particular.

I complete lots of surveys. Some are better than others and lots are changing, so jump in where is makes sense for you.

• SwagBucks I've been searching with SwagBucks for the past month. I saw those post on FB and read the reviews on other blogs, then finally committed to signing up. Basically, you earn points by searching the web, completing surveys, tasks, or special activities. There are give away points posted on the SB blog, FB page and Twitter. There are extra points gifted for your birthday, Mega Bucks Fridays, and just because searching. It is random variable reward. Since November 9, 2012 I have collected five Amazon gift cards at 450 points each. Soon I will redeem 2500 points for $25 PayPal card. That's CASH! Check it out. Easy to sign up and the tool bar allows search from any tab.
• Pinecone Research conduct product marketing surveys. They offer a cash incentive though less than it once was. I've been part of the research panel for years and it is open only by invitation. Most surveys take 10 - 15 minutes and the current payout is $3. It is the most interesting of the survey choices, except,
• Community Marketing and Insights This research company is geared toward helping business leaders understand LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender) communities. They offer both paid surveys and sweepstakes opportunities. Opportunities include surveys and focus groups. Open by invitation.
• ThirdAge Advisory Leaders This panel is geared toward "mature" participants (50 years +). I have had minimal luck completing their surveys. The incentive is $3 and pays out at $20. I can never decide if I know too much in the technology realms to too little in the investment. As with many cash incentive programs, there seems to be the expectation that the participant will be making major purchases in the next six to twelve months. 
• Harris Polls were my favorite surveys for years. They were interesting to complete with high point rewards. Points are converted to actual gifts or gift cards. I redeemed points for a full body massage pad (with heat) and Amazon gift cards. Recently, this company has changed their process. Now there are qualifying questions before the survey. I decide in advance how many questions I am willing to wade through. There are plenty of other choices out there. Redeem 1250 points for $10 gift card (electronic).
• Zoom Panel Take surveys. Earn points. Redeem them for gift cards, merchandise, or donate to charitable organizations. While there are lots of invitations, I find I am rarely qualified these days. Could be I am a very different consumer than I once was. My last redemption was the glass cordless water kettle in September 2012. I love it! It is well worth the time invested.
• iSay by Ipsos Again, take surveys, earn points and redeem for charity, gift cards, PayPal and cash. The biggest difference in sites is the number of point awarded and redemption levels. 1000 points equals $10 gift cards/payout.  

There are lots of other sites and I have signed up for a dozen more. They are not included because either I didn't qualify for their surveys after multiple choices or the payout is too low for the time invested. Time = Points = Money. Unless I am just piddling with no intention of being productive, I will not invest more time than a survey is worth. I'll update this post if I find more money earning sites that are worth my time. Until then, do you have a favorite money earning site? Please share in the comment section.

Also, if you are interested in a referral link, leave a note.

Live long and prosper!

UPDATE -

Here is the best review site I have found, yet. Survey Police. I still have several that have not made their list to check. I'll let you know.

05.29.13 Update -
Pinecone has changed their reward system to points that can then be converted to gifts or cash. So far, the points equal the previous cash incentive, but now it is a long drawn out process to get the funds. The advantage of Pinecone is that when qualified, you also get to test products in your home and complete a follow-up survey which pays as well.

On the subject of products, check out BzzAgent.

• Discover and try new products and services
• Introduce friends to new products (and share special offers)
• Influence big name brands with your feedback

Scribbled!

Last year, this time I was excited about leaving my job. Remember that? Remember the calendar, the count down, the research? All that planning so I could travel, write and drink beer. It was a great plan, and I swear, it would have worked.

But life happened. Or rather death. Then illness. Since my time was open I was available to show up when and as needed.

My plan was to live each day "Unwritten." All to soon my time was occupied and let me say, this year has zoomed by. Next week we will reach October 2012.

I will say that I loved being at home, mistress of each and every moment of my day. I never had to get a round tuit. I either went for it or passed.

These days I am working way more than forty hours a week and I think I will clear enough to meet my financial obligations,, pay off auto repair debt, attend home repairs and replenish my savings. My hours are spread over seven days a week and allow me to provide care for my grand-daughters as their mother returns to work. Some days it feels like more than I can stand.

In my previous post I outlined why I like my call center job. It's through a temp service and will end. I picked up an overnight shift at a group home. And I provide another five hours of office support.

As the call center hours run out I will pick up another overnight at the group home, but before November, I am committed to completing the edit of my novel for a Kindle publishing. I am already thinking about a sequel.

And then, say it with me... Pole Dancing in the City!!!

November will be a huge challenge with works and writing 50,000 plus words in 30 days, but I am leaving on a jet plane December 3rd!

Work - Ease and Effort

Currently, I'm working at a call center as a telephone interviewer. I call residents and ask questions about health and health practices. In a minute I will share my long list of reasons this works for me. First, the link to the questionnaires we use. Sometimes people are reluctant to answer questions over the phone. We give them the direct link to the study. So, check out the CDC and know where those statistics you read in magazines, see on the news, and hear in the media come from.

Just for fun, I have linked to my script. Eight hours a day I call and ask these questions. Imagine having this kind of information about a person you were planning to date, marry, or go into business with. If you have the attention, it is a long script, but with efficiency takes about 14 minutes to complete. Of course, it can take longer, depending on the responses.

I interviewed for the third time with the state agency for the same job they have passed me over for the past four months. At the end of the interview they ask if I have any questions. I could not remember it. Just drew a blank. On the way out I saw someone I know who shared that she too had received a rejection letter. As we shared our experiences in job search, she said we need to set higher standards. Then I remembered my question. "What's in it for me? Money notwithstanding, how does accepting this job serve me?"

I have committed to interviewing as practice in showing up authentically. Living my life freely and truthfully. When I choose another job, I expect my happiness to increase, my joy to overflow. Today I like what I do well enough and here's why:

1. I work in a friendly environment.
2. I am close enough to walk to work.
3. I work inside.
4. I have natural light - large windows within six feet of my cubical and trees outside.
5. I set my own schedule and can easily make adjustments.
6. The dress code is WAY relaxed.
7. There is great diversity amongst the employees - age, gender, race, ethnicity, expression
8. I get paid weekly.
9. There is filtered water available free of charge at all times.
10. I learn about varying choices of people across generations, populations, and incomes. 
11. I get to practice convincing arguments.
12. This is a low stress job. We come in, make our calls, go home. It could be and has been different, but today there are no worries.
13. I get to practice living in the moment, letting go and moving on, opening to the next opportunity, and keeping a smile in my voice. People get angry. They shout and cuss and slam the phone down. Next call...
14. I make a difference. 

Sometimes I can feel that I am making a difference. Other times I just know. Mostly I just ask questions without input, but occasionally the respondent needs to share their life story. There is no place for me to enter individual responses, but people need to say their piece. I am thankful to be there in those moments. I am also reminded again of why I like this job with it's brevity of interactions rather than a field in which I might spend 50 minutes in the process.

I've been checking out the customer service at home gig, but so far haven't found anything that works. Alpine Access requires travel to their office for training. West at Home requires $30 for a background check. When I know more, you will too. If anyone has better info, do say.

Until later... Hi-ho, hi-ho...

Make My Day

"Hello. I'm calling for..."

That's what I do. I call.

I work at a call center and spend eight hours a day calling respondents to ask questions about their day to day living habits that might effect their health. I'm not a telemarketer. I am neither selling nor soliciting. I gather information from private residents that translates into data used for local, state and federal funding. I encourage you to participate. And yet, many people refuse because...

I'm not interested. One interesting facet of the study process is that you get to consider your daily habits in an objective light. The questions are very specific and ask you to classify and quantify your responses. Rather than a dialogue, I will be asking questions with specific guidance.

I don't have time. We are happy to call at a time that is convenient for you. Since your input is important, we will accommodate you. People are willing to donate money to a cause or spend their time watching reality TV, but not invest in their communities over the phone.

What are you going to pay me? Completion of the study is part of your sharing of your time and talent toward shaping your community and deciding how resources will be allocated. There are some compensated studies, but the amount is nominal rather than value. People are rarely impressed with the offered compensation.

What difference can I make? I mind my own business/pay my own bills/am healthy... Community agencies have invested time and money in education programs. Surveys are one way of assessing the effectiveness of those programs and deciding which need to be changed. During the survey process we also share information that may be new or a review of health concerns, conditions, or considerations.

I am not allowed to converse with respondents. The questions are read verbatim and answers entered electronically. This system allows immediate and accurate recording of data which is separate from respondent identifiers.

I like my job. I learn something new every day. Some people insist on sharing more information than I ask. That's fine as long as they continue the study and answer the questions asked. There are lots of people who do not visit a doctor and consider themselves healthy. There are more people who need education on the warning signs of life threatening conditions. I can't tell them. I tell you.

We are inundated with information. There are TV commercials, radio ads, billboards, pamphlets, flyers, and books. The TV doctors report, share, and advise, as do doctor's offices, if we get there. Apparently, this is not reaching the populous, or we are not paying attention. Or maybe we don't think it matters.

During the CPR training this week the video scenario shows a mother at lunch with her daughter who is choking. She freaks and shouts for help. How is it that we do not automatically know how to help a choking victim? Same for the kid who faints, repeatedly and the mother sits at his side screaming, "Somebody help me! He's fainted again."

Please call 9-1-1. The operator will talk you through what to do next. During the health study I do not offer answers. There are only choices.

The next time someone calls and asked you to participate in a health study, please take the time to understand who is sponsoring the study and what they are investigating before you completely dismiss the call. Your opinion really makes a difference. And your participation makes my day.

Thank you for your time and cooperation.

Work Situation Update

One of the advantages of going out to work is that the creative brain gets to rest while the analytic brain trudges along. However, I find that I am WAY less creative when I am working. I think in small spurts that seem to fizzle after a few seconds. My current job requires me to be constantly on task so I have little scraps of paper with snippets of ideas and concepts. The problem is that I am so tired I can't even imagine working on the blog I started in my head.

I am thankful to have found  One Word. You get one word and one minute to write. It works. Lately I have been too busy to log on, but I can stop and take sixty seconds to write with abandon. You can too. One minute. One word. Wherever you are...

Write on!

Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!

In the last twenty-four hours, the surprise lilies have popped up. I found them after returning home from a walk around my neighborhood. I'd like to say that I was out enjoying the fabulous weather. It was cool and breezy. I wore my hair down, carried my camera out, and listened to music.

My specific journey was to drop my car key at the dealership where my car was towed yesterday. I just cringed typing that. We were on the way to the mall. I thought I might check out the massage station since I have an interview Monday. DA wants another dress. And my daughter had a ten dollar off coupon to a store we usually avoid. We had plans.

Driving along the car just stopped. We were on a hill at the major intersection. It started again and then died as I made the turn. We rolled along until we reached the shoulder. I put on the hazard lights. Gentle freak out... Call KIA road assist. Ten minutes later find that the service expired August 2009. They will still come help for $75.50. Never mind. Call the tow company we know. They arrive within ten minutes and carry my car to the dealer for $56.00. My insurance will reimburse the cost.

We go to the mall. Inside I am just sick. I am overwhelmed because I am the one who helps everyone else and for a moment (hours) I feel I have no one to help me. (It's just a feeling and feelings pass.) The mall is crowded. I don't think I have been here in the last year. I am amazed and a little overwhelmed. I remember coming here and shopping, lots - before I knew better.

We find lots of dresses. Even really cheap ones ($3.99). They are ugly. I probably wouldn't bring them home for free.We find others which are fabulous, but DA is a shopper and none seem to meet her expectation (except a size 14 prom dress - too big). Then she saw Barbie in a swimsuit. The end. She traded all discussion and desire for a new dress for that doll.

I didn't get my massage because the estechnicians were wearing gloves. It is a creepy feeling, to me. And for the price they charge I could get a pedicure as well. I was just kinda sunk, anyway.

My daughter is great with child. That's a whole other piece of the story. We called and got a ride home and I ate ice cream. It was a good time to start drinking, but I like my mind clear when I have an issue, especially distress. On the way to the kitchen, I realized that this was the perfect time to have a car issue. Better to have my car checked out and running well before I get a job.

I love my car! It is seven years old with 51K miles. I have only had two incidents when it hasn't gone. Both were battery issues - too hot and too cold, outside. I trust that all things work together and with that belief the only thing left to do is let go.

Drink More Wine

REJECTED!

That's how I felt and that's what I wanted to title this post.

DISAPPOINTED!

SAD!

But really, who wants to hear that? Who indeed?

But the moment comes when we need to tell the truth, to someone.

Here's how it started...

Wednesday night I read a post on reasons to get a real job. A couple of the reasons resonated with me. One, money. I like living in my home. I am supporting myself, and the bank will only barter with cash. I know I said that before, but it's on top. I need to trade services with somebody for something. Two, I notice I do not have a sense of urgency. Since I am at home, I tend to believe I will get around to it - whatever it is, eventually. I won't. I have the things I love to get at; the others wait on a list.

I went to sleep excited and encouraged about going back to work - soon. I had been waiting two weeks to hear back from my last interview. As the two day "no thank you" letter time had passed, I figured they were checking out my references and it was a go.

Thursday morning I sprang from bed, made my coffee, and set about cleaning. I recently acquired a set of tapes by Wayne Dyer. As he spoke, I took down the curtains and blinds from the window. I dusted, vacuumed and mopped. When I stepped out to shake the rug, I saw the mail had arrived.

It was a thin single sheet of paper. "Thank you for taking the time to interview. While you were not chosen..." Does it really matter what comes next? They could just as well send a post card that is stamped, "REJECTED!" and get on with it.

I cried, but I kept cleaning. I was sad, and I sat still. Every evening I just stop. I passed on the wine. I have found that drinking is a poor way to handle emotional distress. I like to drink, but I save it for special occasions - days that end in "y".

The weekend was hard. I am starting over, again. Today as I hung out the laundry I wondered if they think I will not fit in the "office culture." I probably won't, but I really wanted to work at it.

Now what to do? There are lots of jobs to apply for. Sometimes I just can't stand another application process. I have taken so many questionnaires. I had a phone screening Friday. The interview was scheduled for tomorrow, Tuesday. I canceled.

This position required knowledge, skills, responsibility, accountability, dependability, a clean driving record, vehicle and insurance. The starting pay is $7.75. Really? How is one expected to maintain a vehicle, add fuel to get to work, and pay insurance on the rate?

I've got to be reasonable even if employers aren't. I save money by not driving all over the place. I am willing to drive a bit for a decent wage, but if I am being paid pittance, I need to be in walking distance. I am looking closer to home?

As I type, I realize there are still another dozen places I can check out. That job I was waiting on has always been my last resort. I've been there before. Working closer to home may mean shifting my political opinions or at least my personal stance. What am I willing to give up to get a job?

Where do you draw the line?

Aspiring to Be

Eight months ago, today, I quit my job.

My general intention was to travel, write and drink beer. For the most part, that's what I have been doing. A gentle recap: I left my job, traveled to San Francisco to visit my Z, drank beer and finished writing my novel in November 2011. On November 27th, I received a call from my family of origin that I had to come see about them. After much crying, fussing, cussing, and praying, I began a journey that would take me through my mother's terminal illness and death, my father's failing health and repeated hospitalizations, and the clearing of a hoarder's treasures.

In the past eight months, I have processed more dysfunction than I had in all my years of therapy. Thankfully, I have a lot of tools to shovel the shit that was piled on. I could never have imagined the level of hurt waiting to be uncovered. I had no idea the history into which I was born. And all that crap that was said and done to me, well, it's in the past. That's how I kept traveling north. I kept remembering that I have already survived what I have been through and I am just fine. (I'll address my crazy elsewhere.)

So, here I am today, celebrating my eighth month at home. I did take a part-time situation for the month of May. That gave me a boost - financially and socially. I have picked up five or six hours a week clearing clutter. That helps as well. Financially, I have learned to live even closer to necessities. Staying under the budget I designed before I left work and the few dollars coming in have brought me two extra months.

I have applied for several jobs. I wait expectantly for my acceptance letter to the last position for which I interviewed. Each day I am thankful for this time I have had at home. I know returning to work full time will be a challenge. I am excited about that as well. My goal for this blog was to learn to live my life more freely and clearly. What I find is that I love being at home, tucked away behind the trees, reading, writing, and drinking beer.

Done digging in the past, I now consider how I want to show up in the present. Here is the greater work, to be the person we long to be. This will also bring our greatest challenges.

My journey has opened my heart/mind to the work of an instrument of peace.

To End Preoccupation with Distress

If we are to be happy, we must reclaim the curiosity of a child. And while we might restrain our approach, we can look around and outside of ourselves to discover that the world has expanded beyond our belly buttons.

Sometimes we become bogged down by the baggage of the past - what happened to us (or them), how we used to think, be, have, do, etc, and the myriad comparisons that keep us from living in the present time.

As we age, we gather more past. And while understanding that the past might contain useful information, it is also historical data. To move forward in our lives, opening to the present situation allows fresh thinking. As we continue to rely on what has been done before, we block the channels of inspiration.

When we are overwhelmed by hurt, angry, lonely feelings based in past situations here is the commitment to support letting go and forward movement:

It is logically possible and certainly desirable to end the ancient habit of paying attention to past distress and to replace it with a new attitude or posture of paying attention to interesting and rewarding concerns - including the present time situation. And so, I now decide to to this - and will repeatedly so decide - until the ancient habit is broke. (From Re-evaluation Counseling)

I have found this commitment helpful in reshaping my attention around my family of origin, past romantic relationships, lost friendships, and today's job search. Even as I consider where to apply to work, feeling surface which require acknowledgement and then a redirection of my attention.

Happiness is a choice and it's an inside job.

Look up. There is something to catch your attention.

From the Cloud Collection

YaY!

Interesting Situations

By now you know the opening line. "I quit my job. " I chose that statement because while I was employed I searched for information on living well outside of the status quo, and specifically, details and stories from people over forty. That young people quit, change, leave, or abandon jobs has little interest to me. This isn't to say they don't have great stories, ideas, tips or adventures. However, they are also generally free of children, mortgages, retirement plans/obligations, and the varied and many encumbrances that accumulate with age.

Honestly, to quit one's job, repeatedly, no matter the "financial climate," takes its own mindset. That's me. I've been leaving jobs since I accepted the first one. That will make me and my story different from those who have committed to a company for over five years. Still, I am over fifty and I choose to leave the last situation because I had had enough.

Today's note is about job search some more. I am just off the phone with an inquiry from a prospective employer. They called to make sure I was applying for a staff position rather than the supervisory slot. It seems I was recommended by the director of the agency for the supervisor position. Small world. We worked together many years ago. We were best friends (to me) and she helped paint my house, tend my children, and make my work my love.

The supervisor is on call 24/7 and expected to be in the office 8 am - 5 pm. Yes, there is vacation since it is a benefited position, but squeezing it in is a challenge. Oh, and "if you really need to be off we can find someone to cover for a doctor's appointment, etc." As the description went on, I knew there was no way I was getting roped into that situation. I know people who live for their jobs. I am not one of them and I am not impressed. I am happy to do what I love, but I love lots of situations and prefer balance in my life. I passed and asked to be considered for the staff role.

Life is good. I apply for two or three jobs most days of the week. I complete applications, assessments, questionnaires, and inventories. Not only do I learn about the companies, I learn about me. I am unavailable for long hours. I do believe employers ask too much of their employees. I think I work harder than most of my coworkers. I show up a little early for appointments. I expect to take my breaks and lunch. Can I sell people stuff they don't need? Sure! Will I? Probably not. Working on commission might leave me hungry.

I make notes from those survey tools. One has to wonder how those responses are weighted. I've been thinking about desired outcomes. I still enjoy being at home. Everyday I roll over and easily rise from sleep at whatever time, I am blessed again. There is so much more to my story and how I find a great ease in this life.

"I have a house, a car and my student loans are paid off. I should be able to sleep." (From Everybody Loves Raymond) I have plenty of food. I am healthy. I even still have a couple fingers of my favorite liquors. It rained. Tomorrow I will set out more plants and pray for a bountiful harvest.

I am open an employment situation that is mutually beneficial to all concerned. Let us affirm together:
So say we all!
So say we all!

Commitment in the Face of Disappointment

I got the letter today. Not the one I was waiting for, but from the same company. My letter thanked me for interviewing and wished me luck in my job search.

I am disappointed. Which is to say, I had expectations. I am more than qualified for this position. I have the experience and commitment to do the job well. I can imagine several reasons they may have passed on me and will have to keep these in mind as I reconnoiter.

I have vast experience which makes me a great candidate. I gathered that experience though numerous job changes. I longest stint with any company was three years and I counted the days to make that. Companies looking to place a strangle hold on me will be disappointed. Doors open both ways.

I like change and am willing to take on the task of both being who I am and shifting perspectives. This is my personal mission. I get to show up and show out. I am free and unlimited. Sometimes that is frightening to those who are stuck.

Since I was passed on this round, there is something better available for me. I get to relax and allow life to carry me. Monday I will send out another round of applications. I will call and schedule another state test. I will read, write, and garden.

I shake off disappointments and left go of expectations - repeatedly.

Life is good. (Hold on to that.)
All the time. (Regardless of the situation or circumstance.)

That was the end, but I remember that I have a new favorite video:

Assessing The Situation

Yesterday was my last shift at the call center - my part-time situation for the month of May. The last two shifts proved to be wonderful. The numbers were low so we had time to talk and share during the downtime. I met and got to know a lot of new people and because I was returning to this job (from seven years ago) I discovered new elements about people I once worked with only as acquaintances.

This is part-time work that can be boosted to forty hours when there are new (health) studies and plenty of numbers. Otherwise, people work as much as they can or want, then outside of work they garden, cook, read, care for aging parents, or volunteer in their communities. Some people are part-time temps while others are permanent. There are lots of young people (as in college students) and other folks close to retirement age (self named and at age 62).

Most interesting was a young woman who at thirty-one has traveled the country, changing jobs and locales. She has worked as a flight attendant, prison guard, and nurse's aide. She will be moving when she is accepted at her next situation. I hold out that the company she interviewed with will recognize her as an enthusiastic asset to their company. Her sister was a phone sex worker. That discussion perked up a few ears. I asked her how she learned to live so freely. Her response was that she spent time with lots of different people. Older people especially were eager to share their stories. She paid attention and selected the ideas that supported her happiness. She understands that we are each responsible for how we move through life and that happiness is an inside job.

Working part-time, I earned enough to carry me through the month of June. I walked to work three days a week. I picked up some freelance office work on my off days and that covered a few luxuries I had given up. I worked in my garden, cleaned around my home, even made that drive up north - twice. I spent time visiting with my friends and reorganized my grand-daughter's play area.

I imagine a full-time situation in the month of June. I hold the intention to show up authentically myself - creative, loving, strong, supportive, and free. Sometimes working full-time drains the memory of who we are away. This time I am holding on.

Imagine with me.

Namaste

New Choices

I quit my job to write, travel and drink beer. As you remember, or can read, things were going according to ideal. I am thankful for the these last (nearly) six months and am now embarking on the next adventure. While I made two trips to the west coast in this time, most of my travels have been back to my family of origin, dealing with illness, death, and more illness. It is a double blessing that my life and time opened to allow this experience (and more grist for the writing mill).

On the streets of San Francisco. Is this trust?

But since I like living inside and really love my particular home, I am heading back to work. My internal chatter had me committed to part-time employment and focusing my maintaining my frugal lifestyle, but as I have applied for more and more jobs, I am opening to the possibility that I can return to work full-time and still live as I do.

There are some things that take way more money that I have available - gutters, windows, moonshine, and my favorite liqueurs. Yeah, I make much of what I love, but there are those out there who have perfected the process and I want to check them out.

I started a part-time job Monday and came home to an invitation to interview for a full-time job next week. I am hopeful and encouraged. I am even a little excited. Perhaps, this will be far more interesting than I had previously imagined.

I'll let you now.

Harder than I've Ever Worked

My Garden Grows

I quit my job so I could write, travel and drink beer. No sooner than I had returned from San Francisco, my family called me to come "home" and tend my father and brother. My mother had been ill for several months, but was in the hospital and had received a terminal diagnosis. Since then I have been traveling between my personal space (home) and the world of my family of origin.

It has been an emotional roller coaster and I have a series I have been working on called, Notes From the Rabbit Hole. It addresses the insanity I have experienced for the last four months. I have been cooking, cleaning, and sorting in the world I left in 1977. There is more stuff than I could ever imagine. My mother died on March 2 and my father said, throw it all out. No way! There is incredibly cool stuff to share, pass along, or add to my collection of things I really, really need.

I've washed dishes more times in these four months than I have probably in the last three years. I schedule my chores for once a week and make due. But to keep my father from getting up at 6 AM to do dishes, I emptied the sink each night. The recycle staff know me by name. There is a facility that will shred confidential papers while I watch and wait, so I am there every week. We are clearing from 1995, sometimes earlier.

I am traveling. Guess I should have specified where. Some weeks I come home on Monday and return on Tuesday. Today I am home until April as my DA and I will be traveling to San Francisco. I am so ready for both downtime and personal adventure.

I have a standing commitment to drink beer with a friend. It started as Tears and Beer. I needed a place to release the overwhelming feelings and what I thought was my major support failed. I was expected to find levity, but there is a time to laugh and a time to cry. I needed to cry - to weep and wail, bitch and moan.

And I am writing. Not always posting, but my pen finds paper and words flow forth. It takes both time and space to write consistently. Thinking happens on the fly. Sometimes I make notes, but there is work to be tended. No job I have ever held required as much effort as this process and yet, it is precisely because I understand how to get things done that this has gone as well as it has.

Making Sauerkraut

In the midst of all these changes, I continued to make my yogurt. I experimented with Milk Liqueur and have three batches of sauerkraut fermenting. Even while I am away from home, my garden blooms. I have been blessed with five months to spend time with my dying mother, reconnect with my siblings, and help my father reorder his space for this new phase in life. There is still the visit with my daughter and travel with my grand-daughter yet to come. My life is full and I am blessed.


I opportunity was offered and I accepted the time and space to live freely.

My favorite coffee - Cafe Bustelo